Luz Marina

My housekeeper Luz Marina is insane! No this is not an exaggeration, actually it is a de-exaggeration if that is even a word. She is nuts. It all started about 8 years ago, according to my other house keeper, Carmen. Apparently she and my driver had a “thing”. It is even scary to imagine. Well they lived together for a while. Luz Marina grew madly insane when they broke up. The consequences came to my rug years later. So the other day I found her crying sweeping my rug with all her might while “pound dusting” my night table. “Luz Marina…” I said, trying to calm her down. “Edilberto never gave me kids!” She said half screaming half crying. O God please help me, was my only thought. I believe she is beginning menopause and this is some kind of creepy reaction. After many of these incidents and encounters where I felt obligated to save my rug I decided to talk to Carmen. This is when I found out more details and the history of all of this. Well apparently Luz Marina has a letter at her shrink’s saying that if she kills herself it is Edilberto’s fault. Even my dad says she reminds him of the chef with the creepy smile from Three’s Company. She reminds me a little more of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. I could write a whole blog just on her day to day insanity. One time I woke up with her face in my face on Saturday morning when she found it extremely necessary to clean my room at 7am. “A su merce que se me le ofrece?” (Do you need anything?). In my head I was thinking, I need you not to disturb my beauty sleep, but instead I decided to just give my best angry disturbed look and not speak a word. I think she got the message. Now she only disturbs me when I’m half asleep or perfectly PMSing.  I do have to love her though, if not who would give me all these stories to tell? (Other than my whole life on time out).